The boy version of me

The boy version of me drinks Blue Moon on the train. He is discreet and keeps to himself. To avoid awkwardness he gets lost in his playlists, choosing some old indie rock band as the soundtrack to his ride (he doesn't want to spend time choosing a band, so he just clicks on whatever starts with an A). He is not confident in his body, but he looks good. He knows glasses look good on him. His curly hair is long and wild, he trims it once in a while He doesn't try hard. He's just cool. People like him. He scrolls through his texts and smiles upon reading a message sent by the girl he loves. She warms his heart, but he doesn'tell her that often, keeping the joys of love for moments like these - when he's alone on the train. You can't tell if he's Jewish or Latino (or both), but you know he is reliable. The boy version of me.

One of those days

Today is one of those days

Should i order food or kill myself

I don't know

Suddenly this turned into an emo song

I wish i could write a haiku about

Ordering food

Or killing myself

While i wait for this pizza

Maybe the elevator will break when i go downstairs to get it

But who wants to die in an elevator crash

So sad

Every time i cross the street i wonder whether i died that day

When i got hit

I wonder

Like george bailey

But maybe the opposite

Although coming back year after year feels almost like that

A life which i'm not a part of

Fuck it's hard not to fall back into clichés

Sometimes it feels like hollywood has coined every single combination of words in the english language

And the more i write

The more i realize the insignificance of my middle class life

While i wait for my double cheese pizza to arrive

Or something else, who knows