quarta-feira, 13 de fevereiro de 2013

Eles Dizem Que Voltei Abrasileirada

"That's so exotic!" they say. "That's so exotic!" - as if I had been taken out of my natural environment and dragged here chained to a boat. There is nothing exotic about being Brazilian. No: we don't ride monkeys, no: we don't play soccer all day long, no: we don't walk around topless or in a bikini. Fruit hats? Nope, we don't use them either. There is no definition of "being Brazilian". Some of us live in cities exactly like New York, others live in cities that resemble L.A., some live in farms and beaches and mountains and small towns, exactly like everyone else in the world. Not all of us live in favelas. We work, drink beer, gamble, drive cars and blow our noses. Some of us are Christians, Jews, Buddhists. Some of us are vegetarians, vegans, allergic to seafood. Some of our kids are too spoiled, others are too poor. Some of our teens are hipsters, others are punks. We have whores and gays and racists and drug addicts. We have streets, alleys and avenues. We have Friends, Two and a Half Men and Big Bang Theory.

What is "exotic" supposed to mean, anyway? Wild? Weird? Gross? Or maybe it's just me. Maybe when I reveal that I'm Brazilian and people are expecting hot brunettes with big boobs and they see a petit Polish-looking chick instead, they can't find any other adjectives. It's like saying someone's hair is beautiful, because you don't want to call them ugly. Like Sonya would say.

I wonder how someone who lives in a country with rednecks and white supremacists, Republicans, hippies, Mexicans, Apaches, instant celebrities and obese people don't think their own culture is "exotic". Maybe they didn't even know Brazil existed.

I'm tired of stereotypes. Just because I like getting naked, doesn't mean everyone in Brazil also does. Also, I don't own bikinis. I can't samba. And by the way, fuck yeah my accent is funny, but at least I speak your language fluently. I'm not touchy-feely, nor do I fuck every guy that comes around. I am not nice. And I don't care that you know Ronaldinho's name, if you don't have anything interesting to say about him, don't even mention. No, I don't know Pelé in person. And I also don't know your friend José Silva that lives in São Paulo. It has 114000000 inhabitants for chrissake!

One last note: if we ever meet, don't tell me that Rio is better than São Paulo. I'll bite your head off.

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